Perhaps the complete upheaval of my life, yep I'm going to go with that... Shall I give a summary? Ok, I will.
So a few days after my last post I decided to do something about the pit in my stomach... That feeling you get when you think it's better to swallow the elephant in the room vs dealing with it. My elephant was my desire to end my marriage.
3 years of talking about the big stuff and sweeping the small stuff under the rug had become too much to bear. I was unhappy, terribly so. I felt alone and yet my friends and family had no idea. I had accepted mediocrity as the high by which I strived for in terms of happiness and had forgotten what true happiness was. I wasn't depressed, I just knew change needed to happen.
In a calm manor on a Wednesday evening, I approached my husband and said "I want a divorce." He said, "ok." It really was that simple... Well there was a 5 hour conversation, some tears and Kleenex, but that's the gist.
We divorced amicably, via a mediator. I moved out of the house, into an apartment in the city. See my ex and I began dating when I was 19... Married when I was 24, and I was divorced by 33. Mind you I had never lived on my own before. I moved in with my ex when I was 20... He owned a home, we later bought a house together.
During all of this I began dating (wow has that changed), and am in a great relaationship now. I learned through dating that I am an attractive woman... How did I not know this?! But those stories are best saved for another blog I'm going to start.
Also I lived with my ex for nearly the whole divorcing process. We were in separate rooms of course, but that was odd and stressful.
We had to also durning this time put down our beloved dog Luigi. He had cancer and after 3 days of refusing to eat (anything) and stopping his water intake, he was so weak. It was time for him to run free at the rainbow bridge... Letting him go was so incredibly hard.
On top of that Tulip (our other dog), broke her leg... She will recover, but it's been a long process.
That's the main reason(s) for this unplanned absence. Now that I am much more settled... Let the blogging resume!
Oh, but it's not that easy. As artists I think we learn to be creative in certain environments... at least that has been my experience. Since moving, finding HOW to be creative is proving to be a challenge. I stare at my art supplies, and they somehow seem foreign... How is this medium used? What am I doing? Did I forget to pack my artistic side?
Slowly but surly I'm breaking through... tweaking my space, just playing with the supplies and allowing myself to feel like a fish with no water. Adapting to my new surroundings and life.
Still a work in Progress:
What struggles are keeping your creative dampers closed? How can you adapt to or change the situation? Don't be shy... Share :)